Things Are Out of Order: Valentine’s Cards

I know I said there would be Erasmus. I hear the Great Lamentations in the street when I say, “There shall be no Erasmus this week.” I offer my sympathy.

But Friday is Valentine’s Day! And posting a how-to on Valentine’s cards would be Fairly Useless next week. And I So Love Holidays.

So: today, Valentine’s Cards. Next week: Erasmus.

I have to admit, part of me is worried about the limited usefulness of a post on how to make cards. Essentially, this comes down to “Glue Things on Other Things.” But, people often comment on crafts in real life in the “I wish I could do x” vein – and they can! They just don’t know it yet. If you are one of those people, here’s what you need to do:

1. Gather your supplies. You need blank cards, really, to make the final product look nice – bulk packages are Very Cheap, and then you’ll have envelopes already there and cut to fit. You’ll also want a selection of coordinating solid color and patterned craft papers. Double-sided are particularly nice, both because they tend to be coordinated by default and because they immediately give you more options. This year, I also used washi tape, because Amazing. In the past, I have often used either sticky-backed ribbon or normal ribbon – I also have a little sticker making machine that was fairly cheap and is one of my favorite craft items. I, myself, don’t go in much for sheet stickers, generally – I have a hard time using them in a way that doesn’t feel tacky, even if only to me. This may be because my usual reaction to Glitz is “Keep Adding More.” If you are more Trustworthy and Restrained, stickers may be right up your alley.
   

   These were My Supplies. While I feel like the papers all coordinate to some degree, I did definitely have certain colors in mind for a “pink” set and certain others in mind for a “vintage” set. The selection as pictured here veers a bit towards the vintage, because the pink were double-sided. Also: Washi Tape.

2. Once you’ve got your materials together, you should spend some time thinking about some final products you want – whether Very Detailed or just “I want this color with that color.” You probably have a list of the people you’re making for – jot notes next to each to guide you along. I’m not including a picture of my list, because I’m already Sad that some people will be seeing their cards ahead of time; I’m certainly not going to tell them which card is theirs.
3. Most of the time, you’ll want to use a solid piece of craft paper for the background of the outside of the card. Whether the background covers the front and back or only the front is Entirely Up to You. I tend to do a bit of both, depending on the final product I have in mind. A Cricut is great for these; I can’t cut a straight line to save my life, so for me it’s actually pretty indispensable. Thoroughly glue the paper to the card, concentrating on getting the edges sealed down.
   

   The examples I’ll be using for most of my construction pictures are of my nieces’ cards, since they are Not Likely to be reading this. For all three of these cards, I just cut out a piece to fit the front part of the outside of the card.

4. Next, work on other background elements or trim. If you’re using washi tape, you might use some to seal the edges of parts of the card or to delineate particular spaces. You might also add another background piece – like a stripe or a rectangular “frame” – at this point. Having some sort of Extra Element, rather than just a background and then a heart or message, will usually make for a more finished looking card. For the best results, just cut any paper elements for now and coordinate them on the card as you’d like to see them. Don’t glue yet!
   

   You can see where I used the washi tape as a more decorative element on the card to the left. On the card to the right, the washi tape is just sealing the bottom edge. There will be a rectangular element on the glitter-y card, but it could not be photographed on the cards standing upright, because it hasn’t been glued to the card yet – pay attention!

5. Most cards need some kind of Anchoring Element on the front. Because these cards are for Valentine’s Day, it’s hard to go wrong with a basic heart shape. “Love” and “XO” lettered out also work nicely. In past years, I’ve sometimes used papers that had nice shapes just waiting to be cut out and made into that Main Element – love birds, cupids, etc. If you have a paper like that, remember to leave a slight edge all around your shape, which will look Much Nicer than if you try to cut right along the lines. Put these shapes together with your other elements. Push things around until the card is Just Right, then glue. Again, concentrate on edges. One advantage of a glue stick: you can set it upright and rub smaller shapes across the top of it, making sure you get their little spaces.
   

   Some really simple shapes sealed with washi tape were the base for the back left and front center cards; then just some hearts and lettering to anchor the designs.

6. Make sure to write A Little Something in each card! I am not a Great Writer in Cards; I hope that the work I put into the cards speaks a bit for me, instead. A simple “Happy Valentine’s Day” will do just fine. I am not showing pictures of this, either, for the same reasons as above.

See?! Easy Peasy! You can do that. And here are a few other designs for inspiration:

The entire front of this card is washi tape stripes. Just go slowly and you won’t have any trouble lining them up. The “love” element is cut out from decorative paper. I wrote it out in cursive in dark, soft pencil on a sheet of notebook paper, sketched that out into bubbly letters, then pressed that facedown on the back of the decorative paper and firmly traced back over the lettering. The pencil will transfer and show you where to cut.

Very Simple: Four layers of background in decreasing widths. Seal with washi tape along the bottom edge. Heart cut out. Love.

And finally, here are the twelve I did this year all together:

Give yourself some basic patterns and templates to work from and those coordinating papers, and you should be able to create several cards you like, in a Reasonable Amount of Time, without feeling like an Assembly Line.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Winter Dinner: Hash is the Greatest

I have So Many Pictures for today’s recipe. I’m pretty excited. Just so you’re prepared ahead of time: it’s gonna be graphic.

So, everyone everywhere is trapped in the Endless Winter, discovering that we’re all apparently Sweet Summer Children and that all other winters were only pretending. This, I think, calls for a nice, warm dinner that can likely be cobbled together from whatever is already in the house. Even better, this recipe pops in the oven for a bit at the end – meaning that you get to dart around a Nice, Warm Kitchen while the oven is preheating and soak up all the extra warm.  I should note, also, that I’m pretty certain this recipe could be easily modified to work on a wood-burning stove – just cover it up at the end and be patient while the eggs finish.

But that, I suppose, is Jumping Ahead. Back to square one, then: let me tell you what you need for this Hash:

• 1/2 lb. breakfast sausage, or Italian sausage, seasoned ground pork, or seasoned ground beef. You might bump this up to a whole pound if you’re aiming to serve more than two or three, or if the eaters are particularly carnivorous in inclination.
• olive oil, in the order of about 1/8 c (2 T).
• potatoes, about one per total serving – I started with three medium-sized potatoes.
• salt and pepper – If I don’t say otherwise, I always mean kosher salt, and I always mean fresh ground black pepper.
• carrots, along the same order, plus one for the pot – four for me in this recipe.
• onions, 1/2 – 1 whole, depending on your taste. I used red onion because I like the pop of color.
• garlic, as much as you like – five cloves, for me, in this recipe.
• dried thyme or rosemary – or both, if you like, about 3/4 – 1 tsp, total.
• Eggs, one per serving. I used duck eggs, because I had them and they’re so comforting.
• Sriracha and/or ketchup, if you’re me. Lots of other topping possibilities out there, I suppose. But really: Sriracha.

Ok, so you’ve got your things together. If you are cooking from an ice-in, and don’t have one thing or another, I suppose I should note that this is pretty flexible so long as you’ve got a cooking oil, potatoes, and some kind of seasoning. Mind, if you don’t have eggs, I’m not calling it a Hash. But it’ll be good cooked up and topping polenta or grits or pasta, anyway, so who cares what I call it?

And so, Your Procedure.

1. Preheat the oven to 350.
2. Get the sausage cooking in a medium saucepan over medium heat – just big enough that the meat has plenty of room. I used breakfast sausage and just let it crumble, because I was partly trying to use up some Odds and Ends. There’s no reason why you couldn’t use slices of Italian sausage, though, or cook up some ground pork or beef and season it to your tastes. This is one of the only steps I don’t have a picture for, because there are few things Less Appealing than raw ground meat.
3. While the meat is cooking, scrub the potatoes and slice them into 1/2 – 3/4 in. cubes. I suggest not peeling them; they feel Heartier that way. But if you hate peels, so be it.
4. Check the sausage – if it is done, drain it and set aside. If not, keep an eye on it throughout the following steps and pause to pull it whenever necessary.
5. Heat the olive oil in a Nice, Heavy, Oven-Safe Pan over medium-high heat. Once the oil is hot (I always use the Teensy Drop of Water Test, because I’m reckless like that), turn the heat down to about a notch below medium and add the potatoes, all at once.  Salt and pepper to taste, and then maybe pepper a bit more.
   

   Here are all of those potatoes, happily sizzling away in the olive oil. I used, as you can see, my cast iron Dutch oven, because (1) it is certainly happy to cooperate either on the stove-top or in the oven, and (2) I Just Like It.

6. While the potatoes are cooking, scrub the carrots (peel them If You Must) and cut them into about 1/2 inch pieces – usually this means rounds for the bottom half and half-moons for the top. Slice the onions into thin half moons – no more than 1/4 in. thick, and 1/8 is better. Mince the garlic or, if you’re feeling a bit lazy, just push it through a garlic press. (I am often feeling a Bit Lazy). This, by the by, is where you could most easily make substitutions, either to accommodate what you have in the house or to vary the recipe once you’re comfortable with it. My suggestions for Substitution Veggies would include celery, fennel (nom), beets, and parsnips, for starters. You could also use frozen veggies, in a pinch, but the Final Result will be…Mushier.
7. About the time you’re done with this prep, the potatoes should be looking golden-y, at which point you can dump all the new veggies in to the pan. Stir them all together so they’re all nicely coated with oil, and let them cook for about 15 min. The veggies to keep an eye on are the carrots (or parsnips or beets, if you’ve used them – and if you do, it’s not a bad idea to parboil them first). You want them to Yield, but not be Mushy.
   

   Look at the colors! I am enamored of these veggies. By the by, you’ll note that I’m using a wooden spoon in this picture. I actually Do Not Recommend this, since you’ll be adding meat momentarily – at which point, I was clever enough to switch over to a spatula, but Alas! I had already unnecessarily dirtied a spoon.

8. Once you’ve got a good consistency on whatever your Stubbornest Vegetable is, add your cooked meat and your herbs. I’ll usually stick with dried herbs in winter and fresh in summer, but I try to note which I mean. This time, I used dried thyme and rosemary, in about equal portions.
   

   Here are almost all of the ingredients, getting to know each other, as well as that plastic spatula.

9. Stir everything together, turn the heat to low, and let everything mingle for about 5-10 min, depending on how hungry you are.
10. Crack the eggs on top of your hash, and move the Whole Operation to the oven. If you’re planning on leftovers, I suggest saving those eggs until the day of; it shouldn’t take much longer, and you’ll be happier with the final result. Warmed over eggs are Not Pleasant, in my opinion.
    

    Thus, my pan was home to only one egg for this round of the cooking. If you’re using more, just try not to crowd them too much – the top shouldn’t turn into One Big Sheet of Egg (which sounds Monstrously Unappetizing, to me). If you’re trying to make this for too big of a crowd, go ahead and take the dishes hit and move half the veggies into another oven-safe casserole, rather than crowd this dish.

11. Let the hash and eggs cook until the egg white is nice and solid – start checking at 5 minutes if you like your eggs runny, as I do, but don’t rush them. If you like your eggs completely done, you can probably safely walk away for at least 10 minutes. Now, incidentally, is an excellent time to wash your cutting board, knives, spatula, and the pan in which you cooked the meat. Wash-up: Done! Heat from the Oven: Absorbed!
    

    Yes.

12. Serve up the hash with an egg per serving, at least. I topped mine with pretty liberal lashings of sriracha, because of course I did. I had some for breakfast one morning with a spot of ketchup, and that wasn’t half bad, either.
    

    Dinner. Perfect.

If you’re worried about this meal not being substantial enough, it also makes a great topping for polenta, or grits, which adds a nice grain element, too. With polenta underneath and a veggie soup or hearty salad alongside, this meal could easily morph into a simple supper for a Pretty Large Gathering, with Relatively Little Fuss. Of course, it would also make a Savory Breakfast.

Or, if you’re more the solo-type, you could do as I did: make enough for several meals, and eat it a different way each time to avoid Leftover Doldrums.

How To: Ship Decorated Cookies, Safely

You see, friends, I am trying to alternate between recipes, Early Modern trivia, and domestics. We shall see how it goes.

So, today: shipping cookies safely. I poked around a bit, in December, when I decided to send cookies as holiday gifts to some friends who are far afield, but I wasn’t totally satisfied with any of the sites I found. Most seemed either Too Fussy (bubble-wrapping each, packing peanuts, the Whole Nine Yards) or clearly didn’t have decorated cookies in mind at all. I liked the idea, though, because it’s a reasonably budget friendly, easily organized present for several people that still has room to be tailored for each person or each couple.

And why am I posting this now, you ask? After all, we’re months away from the next Holiday Sweets Attack.

Incorrect. February 14th approacheth, and everyone knows that it’s not just for couple-y types. I can’t say I’ll be repeating this baking and shipping plan for this particular Valentine’s, but I’ll be keeping it in mind when I myself become the Friend Who Is Far Afield.

So, steps 1 through 6: Prepare, refrigerate, cut, bake, cool, and decorate the cookies.

I’m afraid I can’t say too much about steps 1, 2, or 4, because the recipes I used are not my own. My sugar cookie recipe is near to Mark Bitman’s “Refrigerator (Rolled) Cookies” in How to Cook Everything, just with a smidgen less sugar and more vanilla. Ah, and cream instead of milk. I also usually use part Irish butter instead of normal unsalted for, oh, about a a quarter of the total butter in anything I want to be Extra Nice, like holiday presents. Cut back on the salt, a bit, accordingly.

My gingerbread recipe, then, is modified from the “Soft Glazed Gingerbread” in Tartine. The biggest modification is that I don’t glaze the cookies or use a patterned pin or plaque – I’m just using the dough to make rolled cookies. I also, though, cut back on the cocoa powder a bit and use maple syrup instead of corn syrup – a good substitution for gingerbread generally, I think.  Tartine also asks you to refrigerate overnight; I usually refrigerate my cookie dough for about four hours before rolling.

This is my only advice on Step 3: My grandmother told my mother, who told me, that you should always push as many cutters down into the dough as you possibly can before moving any of them; that way you use as much as you can each time and aren’t overworking the dough by constantly re-rolling.

As for step 5, well – I’m not likely to be a Sunday Sweet in my lifetime. But, if you’re not used to decorating at all, I perhaps have one or two useful ideas. First: assemble your decorating tools. Better decorators than I have those Fancy Icing and Piping Tools. I have Store Bought Cookie Icing.

Someday, I will test enough homemade icings to discover one that comfortably ships and makes nice neat lines. I will buy a fancy decorating tool, and my cookies will be as Completely Natural as cookies can be and Magnificent.
Until then, these cookie icings set up nicely and aren’t distracting in taste.

I suggest getting a palette of three to four colors, with coordinating sprinkles and fancies. I especially like the little sugar pearls – they add nice dimension, and for Christmas cookies they make great ornaments or gingerbread-man eyes.

I decorate in batches of shapes, so that I get used to the corners and turns and lines and such. If you’ve got them all laid out in front of you in rows or somesuch, remember to work away from your starting point – I’m a righty, so that’s moving down and to the right for me.

Here are some of the stars, out of the stars, gingerbread people, stockings, and trees that I did up this year. I actually prefer cookies without icing (actually, come down to it, I actually prefer bacon and cheese), but they are Not Festive. These cookies are Festive.

Ok, now to the more important steps: how to actually go about wrapping these up, getting them in the mail, and getting them safely to their destinations.

To accomplish this, you need:

• parchment or wax paper,
• tissue paper,
• festive fabric cut into patches about 7 x 11 (or thereabouts),
• aluminum foil,
• baggies – I used the little portioning bags that go inside bigger freezer bags. Sandwich bags would also work fine,
• and boxes. The boxes need to be bigger than you think, but not terribly big. I used USPS small flat rate boxes (dimensions 8 11/16″ x 5 7/16″ x 1 3/4″, according to the post office, and aren’t those just ridiculous dimensions?) to send out half-dozens.

First, prep your wrapping for each package. Your aluminum foil should be in great sheets a little over twice the size of your boxes, then doubled over – or two sheets that are each a little over the size of the box. The tissue paper can be folded into quarters or halves, depending on the size of the sheets.  It should be small enough to have an edge of foil all around.  You want a double layer of aluminum foil, the tissue paper, and then the festive fabric, laid out on top of each other.

See, like this! There along the upper edge you can see curls of the parchment and wax paper I used to wrap the cookies.

Next, get your wax paper or parchment paper. I actually used a bit of both. Cut it off into strips that are wide enough to wrap up your cookies at least once around. Mine didn’t fold over beyond that, because they were going to have plenty of other layers.

Wrap each cookie, individually, in a strip of the wax paper. Stack them together in twos, threes, or fours, depending on the size of the shipment altogether, and then wrap those stacks in the baggie – close, but not tight.

To the left is a stack of three cookies wrapped in the wax paper. To the right is the other stack of three for this packaged, which have been wrapped up in the baggie already.
Basically, you’re trying, first, to make sure that the icing of each cookie doesn’t rub up against the others and, second, to get the cookies in fairly stable stacks so that they lend each other stability.

From here, you just need to get each of those three layers of further wrapping tucked up around the cookies, like so:

One: fold the Festive Fabric over.

Two: fold the tissue paper over, and do your best to seal it with a bit of a crease. It won’t hold very well; it doesn’t need to.

Three: fold the aluminum foil over and seal with folds on all three open sides. Yes, mine is already sitting in the box, but I promise you can easily move this little Package of Cookie into a box from wherever you are working.

Tada! Your cookies are ready to go in their shipping boxes, and each is carefully protected from this dire mailing process by five layers. The last, but still important thing, is to check that you’ve gotten your dimensions right for the package and the box. If there’s much space, make sure to fill it with something or your cookies will be rattled to bits. If there’s no space at all and it seems like a bit of a squeeze, Stop Immediately, or you will crush your cookies before they ever get beyond the garden gate.

Like so, you see? So is good.

I went with the USPS FlatRate because they ran about five or six dollars to ship, and they were supposed to get there within two days – good time, for a cookie (mind, they didn’t, in every case, but they were meant to). You can also set the options so that the mail-people are supposed to leave the packages there, because everyone hates running around after packages (mind, they didn’t, in every case, but they were meant to).

So far as I know, no cookies were broken, and I was able to send a real present to several far away friends without spending fifty dollars on a fruit basket.

Erasmus is Not Very Good at Predicting his Near Future, for such a Smart Guy

So, last time I decided to offer up to the Internet a bit of my diligent study, I went with one of the most absurd “tragic” stories in existence.

Today, then, is very different. Because today is some real tragedy, in the form of Desiderius Erasmus’s letters, where we learn that for a Very Smart Guy, Erasmus really had no handle on what England was about to be dealing with when it came to Henry VIII: Terrifying Egomaniac.

Before I dive into the first of two letters I eventually want to look at, I first want to note one absolutely crazy thing: “Erasmists have traced 2500 letters from the Dutch Humanist to friends and correspondents all over Europe” (Clements and Levant, 1976). 2500. That we have been able to trace some 500 years, give or take, later.

Guys, it’s January, and I still haven’t written my thank you cards from Christmas. It’s 2014, we have an exceptional mail system, and I couldn’t even manage to get my best friend’s birthday card in the mail on time. (I didn’t have a stamp, ok? Jeez.)

So, Erasmus was Amazingly Prolific in his letter writing, especially if we take just a second to remember that he was also, ya know, creating Latin and Greek editions of the New Testament, writing several of the most important Humanist treatises, and traveling, attending universities, and lecturing like it was his job. (Interestingly, only possible because he was granted an official papal dispensation from his actual job: priest.)

Pictured: A Priest, but also Not a Priest. Discuss.
(Unabashed credit to Wikipedia, because if I know it’s the right image, why should I go gallivanting around the Internet to find some other source?)

But now to these specific letters, because you may not know it, but you need more Early Modern Letters in your life.

First, Erasmus’s February 26, 1517 letter to Wolfgang Fabritius Capito (often more simply known as Wolfgang Capito, a priest who would eventually join and champion the Reformation, making his relationship with Erasmus…complicated).

Erasmus is writing this letter to express to Wolfgang how wonderful everything is under the new Pope and the new Kings, saying that

I could almost wish to be young again, for no other reason but this, that I anticipate the near approach of a golden age, so clearly do we see the minds of princes, as if changed by inspiration, devoting all their energies to the pursuit of peace.

Erasmus goes on to name Francis I and Pope Leo as the main movers and shakers, which – well, the political and military messes the Pope got into were Not His Fault, mostly. But Francis…was not Devoting All of his Energies to the Pursuit of Peace, is sufficient.

Still, that’s got nothing on what he’s about to say about Henry VIII:

When I see that the highest sovereigns of Europe – Francis of France, Charles the King Catholic, Henry of England, and the Emperor Maximilian – have set all their warlike preparations aside and established peace upon solid…foundations, I am led to a confident hope that not only morality and Christian piety, but also a genuine and purer literature, may come to renewed life…

In the theological sphere there was no little to be done…the unlearned vulgar being induced to believe that violence is offered to religion if anyone begins an assault upon their barbarism…But even here I am confident of success…

So, the First Part Last – man, good luck with that. Setting aside the classism of “unlearned” and “vulgar” being joined, we’ll all agree to alert one another if barbaric people ever stop believing that an assault on ignorance is also an assault on religion.

But. There’s a more directly, immediately failed prediction here: By 1519, Maximilian is dead. Charles is the new Emperor, which, since Francis was in the running, means they aren’t so much Devoted to Peace as they are Already on the Warpath. The actual war starts in 1521.

And Henry. Oh man, Henry is just…really not going to live up to Erasmus’s expectations. Of peace, or piety, or fidelity, or, really, finally, even of just Being a Good Person.

(Henry, by the by, accomplished hundreds of things that allowed the English Empire to eventually be created. That may be a good or bad thing, or too nuanced to be either. But it got us where we are (again, good or bad), so we oughtn’t let his personal life overshadow that. Still, doesn’t mean he wasn’t a Pretty Terrible and Breathtakingly Selfish Person by the end.)

This is apparently what Erasmus thought was happening. It is not, in fact, what was happening.
I also just get sick of seeing the same fatty fat Henry. He couldn’t walk properly, of course he got bigger – but he was apparently quite the fox in his younger days. He also had an ongoing, transcontinental argument with Francis about who had the better calves.
I don’t know anything about Charles’s calves. Or Pope Leo’s. I am assuming the dragon is an allegorical figure for either war or for heresy, as I have not heard any accounts of Henry and Charles killing dragons in St. Peter’s. Unfortunately.
(Wikipedia credit, again.)

One last note from this letter, just because it’s important to sometimes see how much a particular culture can limit even the Most Exceptional human beings:

One doubt still possesses my mind. I am afraid that, under cover of a revival of ancient literature, paganism may attempt to rear its head…or, on the other hand, that the restoration of Hebrew learning may give occasion to a revival of Judaism. That would be a plague as much opposed to the doctrine of Christ as anything that could happen.

Oh, Eramus. Here’s the thing, guys: as awful as that is, he’s crippled by his culture. Erasmus was Incredibly Learned, Very Intelligent, and, at the end of the day, a Very Good Person – he was kind to  and engaged with others, he maintained Cordial Conversation even with those with whom he disagreed, and he more than earned the title Prince of the Humanists.

But man – he has really, seriously Misidentified the Problem.

***

More soon on the even sadder letter Eramus writes describing Thomas More. Spoiler: Early Modern Men had some really Appalling Ideas about Marriage.

***

All citations and quotations from the edited collection Renaissance Letters: Revelations of a World Reborn. Eds. Robert J. Clements and Lorna Levant. New York: New York UP, 1976.

Pumpkin Soup

One or two people hesitantly asked about this whole project, in the sort of voice that said they were sure I’d already given it up, but that it seemed polite to check.

Actually, I hadn’t given it up at all. I just had Several Things Happen, including one heartbreaking, awful thing and one wonderful, miraculous thing (who is already helping glue some of those damaged bits back together with her mama’s help). But neither of those is the sort of thing I come here today to talk about.

I come today to talk about soup, cellar vegetables, and living off of farmers’ markets during the months they don’t exist.

Thanks to freezing and planning, I’m in good shape to make it through the winter without any supermarket veggies unless I just want something particular. However, in my stocking up, I got, perhaps, a little overenthusiastic on the squash. And acorn squash is well and good – the things last forever, and I can think of half a dozen different ways to cook them on any given night. But the pumpkin that was sitting on my shelf…well, I don’t usually use pumpkins for much besides pie.

But then, I made this soup. And squash/ gourd/ Cucurbita overstock or not, I wish I had more pumpkin, now. So, if you’ve got a lonely leftover still haunting your kitchen from holiday baking, might I suggest the following, decidedly-not-pie recipe?

Ingredients

• 1 pumpkin, about 5-6 inches in diameter all ways
• 1 T butter
• 1 onion, any sort (I used red, because it’s what I had on hand, but I think yellow or white would work nicely, too.)
• Garlic, to your taste (I used about 6 cloves, because I love the stuff)
• 1/2 -1 tsp. dried sage (rubbed would be my preference)
• 1/2 -1 tsp. dried rosemary
• 1/2 – 1 tsp dried thyme (leaves, not ground)
• 1/2 -1 tsp pepper
• 1 1/2/ tsp salt
• 1 T lemon juice (adjust according to your taste, 1 T is nice and tangy)
• 1 c. milk

Those ingredients yielded me enough for two dinners, so adjust accordingly. It would be incredibly easy to double and makes rather nice leftovers, even for someone with a bit of an attitude about leftovers that can’t be seriously altered or re-purposed.

The herb imprecision is because I wanted mine very savory – full of all kinds of flavors. A better-adjusted recipe might tend more towards the 1/2 tsp measures, but sometimes I don’t want well-balanced – I just want flavors. I’d also suggest marjoram with relatively few reservations; I just happened to be out at that moment.

What to Do

A note: you’ll almost certainly want either a food mill (my preference), a food processor, or at least a blender for this recipe. How long the recipe takes depends on the length of time your pumpkin needs to bake; this recipe took me only about half an hour from start to finish, but the pumpkin was being very cooperative.

1. Turn the oven to 375 F.
2. Cut your pumpkin(s) in half and scrape out the seeds.
3. Fill a baking dish large enough to hold both pumpkin halves, face down, with about 1/2 -3/4 in. lukewarm water. Put the pumpkin face down in the dish; put the dish in the oven. The pumpkins will bake for anywhere from 20-40 minutes, depending on how thick the flesh is. There’s an outside chance they could take up to an hour, but mine were quite done in just over 20 minutes.
4. While the pumpkin is cooking, get the other ingredients together. First, chop the onion.
5. Heat the butter over medium heat in a medium saucepan. Once the butter melts, toss in the onion.
6. Peel your garlic cloves – I didn’t chop mine at all, but to each his or her own. Into the saucepan with them!
7. Measure and pitch in the herbs, pepper, and salt as the onions and garlic cook. You want to let the onions cook in the butter until they’re nice and soft, but not browned. This should take about five to ten minutes from when they first go into the butter.
8. Once the onion is soft, pour in the lemon juice, stir, and then pour in the milk. Turn the heat down a notch or two to medium-low or just above, and let the whole thing cook for about ten minutes.
9. At this point, your next step depends on whether your pumpkin is done – which you should be able to tell by poking it with a fork, not unlike checking a potato. Poke down near the cut side, as the top may cook a bit quicker.
10. If your pumpkin is not done, return the pan to the oven and continue to check every five to ten minutes, depending on how close you think you are. Turn the heat under the saucepan to very low. Continue to step 11 when appropriate.
11. If your pumpkin is done, pull it out of the oven. Careful with the pan full of water! Use tongs or a large fork to transfer the pumpkin halves to a work area, like a cutting board.
12. Use a spoon to scoop out the cooked pumpkin – it should come away from the outer shell pretty easily. You can drop the scooped flesh straight into the saucepan of other ingredients.
13. Cook everything, all together, over medium-low heat for five to ten minutes.
    

    It’s a bit late in the post for the first picture, don’t you think? I do. But I didn’t think you really needed or wanted a picture of a sliced onion…

14. How to handle this step depends on what medium you’re using to mush everything into one consistency (appetizing description, non?) and how much you hate dishes. If you’re using a blender or food processor, you should be able to just pour the whole thing in – if you’ve doubled the recipe, you may need to work in batches – and process everything on a medium speed. If you’re using the food mill…well, you could pour from the pan and then mill over a bowl. Or pour into a bowl, and then into the mill, and then use the mill over the pan. But if you’re like me, you’ll realize that you already have to wash that baking dish you pulled the pumpkin from. So – I poured everything into the baking dish, then set the food mill over the dish (I used my finest grate), and then poured from the baking dish into the mill, milling back into the sauce pan.
15. Once your ingredients are all nicely creamed together, I suggest letting the soup heat for just a few more minutes – I lasted about three before I decided it was dinner time.
    

    My food mill is one of my favorite acquisitions – look at that soup! Also, I think that this pumpkin soup is the prettiest shade of creamy yellow I’ve yet produced from a soup of any sort.

16. Enjoy!
    

    “Who would not give all else for two p
    ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?”
    to quote the Mock Turtle, who is of course already reciting, so I suppose Lewis Carroll? Charles Lutwidge Dodgson?

The soup should be tangy and savory and warm. I had it with fresh baked pita one night and wheat toast another. Honestly, the soup wants croutons, but that wasn’t what I wanted. However you serve it though…it’s pumpkin, and not pie, and that’s something all on its own.

Early Modern Revelry: That Foxe Has a Lamb on His Back

For my first of this sort of post, I want to share a passage from N. Breton, Gentleman’s Miseries of Mavillia. This, as the title suggests, is the story of “the most unfortunate lady that ever lived,” (language modernized, all citations from the 1599 edition available on Early English Books Online). But the passage I love most is not about one of Mavillia’s miseries, but instead about one of the bright spots.

The Story So Far: As a child, Mavillia is orphaned when her parents are killed by invading soldiers. Then, she’s raised by a laundress who follows the camp of those invading soldiers. AND THEN the town is counter-invaded – and the man leading those troops happens to know Mavillia’s uncle, so he’s sending her along that way. Or, at least, probably it’s her uncle. Maybe it’s actually his uncle. Either way, this guy is supposed to take care of Mavillia.

UNFORTUNATELY, everyone in the company meant to take Mavillia to her new home dies in an ambush, where the ambushers are also killed. Everyone, that is, except the page. Well, and Mavilla. She’s got a lot of misfortune still to go. So the page and Mavillia are now wandering around the countryside. Except that the page, apparently, is sort of accident-prone. Because he manages to shoot himself, or, to quote the text “his leaning on it, made it of itself discharge a bullet into his right hip.” So there you go. Guns shoot people, even in 1599.  (When, yes, that would have been deeply difficult.) And this is where we get to this really amazing passage:

In this misery, as we sat sighing to think how we should do for meat, there came by a fox with a little lamb on his back, whom first the boy espied, and cried, “Mistress, look! Yonder is a fox with a lamb on his back! For God’s sake run to him, and cry ‘now, now,’ and the fox will be afraid, and leave the lamb behind him!”

And as the boy said, it happened. The weight of the lamb was too much for the fox to run with, and so I overtook him, and, frightening him with a loud cry, he let fall the lamb, and away he went! Think how glad I was to have this lamb. Which, when I brought to the boy, “Good Mistress,” he said, “Let me help to slay him.”

And so kindly together we sat, plucking off the skin, and cutting the quarters one from another, which, with the boy’s device of powder and match, and the fire-lock of his pistol, we made a fire and roasted finely.

I’ll be honest, I think it loses a little something when modernized, but I’m pretty sure this is still amazing. Now, I get that what Breton means is that the fox had the lamb slung over his back – which I believe is a thing foxes do, though I’m having trouble seeing even a rather large fox carry a lamb that way. HOWEVER – that is neither here nor there, because that is NOT what Breton actually wrote. No – he wrote that the fox had a lamb on his back. Which I, of course, picture as a lamb just cruising around on the back of a fox – which is even better because those two animals are essentially the same size. And my imagined scenario with the live lamb is reinforced by the fact that the boy asks to be allowed to “help to slay him.”

Further, I LOVE that apparently all you have to do to get a fox to drop his prey is to yell “Now, Now!” And the boy is very specific. He doesn’t say, “Run up and yell loudly.” He says, “Run up and yell ‘now, now!'” This is clearly an important detail. And I love it. Because that’s the most ridiculous thing to yell at a wild animal. Ever.

I don’t want to ruin the ending, even if I also feel fairly confident that no one reading this is planning on reading a moderately successful text from 414 years ago. So I will just tell you that there is a Boar Goring. And a False Accusation. AND SOMEONE GETS HER NOSE BITTEN OFF BY A SPURNED SUITOR.

Just…you know…someone. No one in particular.

A Little Craft: Baby’s Birthday Banner

Banners: probably not the most revolutionary craft. But I’m practically addicted. And in the grand tradition of the huswife book, originality is hardly key. Indeed, the most appropriate thing I could do is exactly this: present my own version of the exact same a thousand other people are already doing. Now if I only could have a man write this post for me, while he pretends that he invented the concept – then this would really be a modern book of huswifery.

But since that’s not an option, I’m just going to share this fun craft from a couple of months ago, requested by a friend who was making a beautiful cake for another friend’s baby’s first birthday. She wanted a tiiiiiny banner. And man, do I love a banner.

1. For any banner, you want strips of paper cut into rectangles cut roughly 2:1 length to width. First, I chose eight coordinated papers – one for each letter of the birthday girl’s name, plus one for each end. For these itsy-bitsies, I cut my strips of paper 1.5 in x 3/4 in.

2. Next, fold your papers in half – what my elementary teachers would have called hamburger style. Now, you have tiny 3/4 x 3/4 inch squares.

3. For your last cutting step, put a dot in the exact middle of the open edge of your square. Then cut from both corners of the folded side down to that dot. Now you should have tiny triangles – the closed side should be 3/4 inch long, then come down to a centered point that’s open.

This is what your pennants will look like once they’re cut. After cutting the pennants, I decided on an order. Also, there’s a crumb in the photo. I don’t know what it is.

4. Next, because this was for a birthday banner, I needed to get the birthday girl’s name printed across these tiny pennants. I can see the appeal of using printables for this sort of thing, but I instead decided to pen and ink it. I found a font style I liked and used their sample for a model. First, I sketched the letters down in pencil. Then, I used a scrapbooking pen to trace the outline and fill in where necessary. I don’t imagine a scrapbooking pen is precisely necessary, but I do recommend making sure it’s a high quality, smoothly flowing pen – unless the scratchy lines are an aesthetic you’re going for. You definitely want to do any writing before you string your pennant, in case something goes awry.

I picked a font based on old calligraphy styles, because the cake was quite posh – I wanted to go crafty, but not too cutesy. Also, yeah, the crumb is still there.

5. Now, you’re ready to string! I used embroidery thread because it was a good thickness for a tiny banner, and I had lots of lovely colors on hand to choose from. I tend to knot on either side of each pennant. So, first, tie a knot. Next, apply glue all over one half of the inside of the pennant – be careful to get it all the way down to the tip and not to clump too much up near the top. I used a gluestick – they’re simple and fairly clean. Seal the pennant together over the string, near to the knot. And finally, tie another knot – and repeat for the next pennant strip.

6. If you’re using the mini-banner for a cake, you’ll need some way to suspend your banner. To do this, I fixed the banner to two kebob sticks – I had originally planned on using chopsticks, but the kebob sticks were longer and I thought the point might make it easier to get the banner set up in the cake.

Here’s the banner, all assembled. I left a little more room on the ends so that I could wind or unwind the ends of the string from around the sticks as necessary to raise or lower the banner.

Now, the banner was all done! Off to the party, where Chef Friend affixed it to her amazing cake:

Here’s the banner in context! Isn’t that cake amazing? Buttercream roses with the most beautiful shading – my baking friend is truly very talented.

I can hardly take credit for the most breathtaking part of this photo, but the cake also highlights when a banner is particularly useful – candles would have wrecked that gorgeous frosting work. Fifteen minutes  or so of work for a slightly more personalized candle alternative.

Leftover Dinner: Kraut and Brats, with Polenta Spaetzle

Since I’m starting from zero here, I decided to begin with something I know. Food! Not, admittedly, food that appears in many of the English huswifery books…or at least, any I’ve run across so far. Instead, this meal is going to go traditional German – kraut and brats – with one twist: polenta spaetzle.

This dinner was, as a “leftover dinner,” a bit of a whats-already-around. It began with some bratwursts that had been accidentally left in the fridge when a friend came for dinner. At about five days stay in the refrigerator, they needed using. Fortunately, there was also a half jar of sauerkraut left in there that needed to be used within the month.

From there, the rest of that half of dinner was simple enough.

Kraut and Brats:

1. Two cheap beers leftover from my Halloween party  started out in a pot set on the stove over medium heat (a medium saucepan, with a lid for use later). If you’re replicating this, I imagine practically any domestic will do – I used two cans of Old Milwaukee. Wooo – big spender. I bought it for beer pong, hush.
2. Half of the jar of sauerkraut immediately joined the beer. The jar was originally 28.5 oz – so a smaller jar might also work, if for some reason you don’t keep half jars of kraut around your place.
3. Next, I stripped two brats of their casings (strictly a manner of preference – I think it makes them easier to cut and I don’t care if they crumble a bit). I cut them into 1/2 inch rounds and then they joined the kraut and beers. My brats were already cooked, but since they had been forgotten in the fridge, I still left them in there for the full cook time – which will be plenty of time for uncooked brats to get safely done.
4. Next, I rinsed four Yukon Gold Potatoes and diced them into 1/2 inch cubes – more or less. I practically never peel Yukon Golds, but again – it’s all a matter of preference. Then, into the pot with them!
5. Then, I rinsed four carrots – each about 3/4 in. in diameter and six inches or so long. I gave them a scrub, but didn’t peel them – then, cut each into 1/4 inch rounds. I added the carrots to the pot with a liberal sprinkle of salt and a grinding of pepper.
6. Finally, I sliced half of one small yellow onion into 1/8 in half moons and added that to the top of the pot. And now I put that lid on.
7. Now, everything simmered in the pot for over an hour – so you can see why it would be perfectly safe for sausages to start out raw at the beginning. To test for doneness, poke a fork through the potatoes and carrots – and cut into a sausage round if you started raw!

Next, things got a bit more creative. I wanted a side dish – and I wanted spaetzle. But I also wanted to use up the polenta leftover from a dinner two days previous. So I decided to try my hand at combining the two.

Polenta Spaetzle:

1. I started from refrigerated (still cold) polenta – very firm, and with fair amount of Swiss cheese added to the original batch. If you’re making polenta just for this use, make it firm – and maybe be a bit conservative with the cheese. Make it far enough in advance that you can first refrigerate the batch. I was working with about 3/4 of a cup of leftover polenta – and I tore through it all by myself, so portion accordingly.
2. I started a tablespoon and  half of butter heating over medium in a skillet. If you’re working with more polenta for more people, adjust accordingly – I’d say about a tablespoon of butter for every half cup of polenta you’re using will work out about right.
3. While the butter was heating, I pulled bits of polenta off – just like I would with spaetzle dough – in one inchish bits, some smaller, some bigger.
4. Once the foam subsided from the butter, I added all of the polenta to the skillet and turned the heat to medium low. Make sure you don’t overcrowd the skillet – it’s fine for the skillet to be full, but the polenta bits need to be all in one layer.
5. I let the polenta spaetzle cook for about ten minutes, turning bits individually occasionally.

Spaetzle simmering away in the butter. The herb bits you’re seeing are dried thyme from the original batch of polenta – I can’t say they’d be necessary for this particular use. But then, thyme never hurts, either. There’s never enough thyme. (Shakespeare loved a pun, you know.)

To serve everything, I just poured the spaetzle out of the skillet onto one half of a plate (yes, with the butter and all – never abandon butter) and heaped up the other side with the kraut and brats. And added beer (a Shiner) in an appropriate, iced stein, obviously.

Lovely vinegary kraut and brats, wonderful buttery spaetzle, and lovely, cool beer in an iced stein.

The kraut and brats made enough for lots of leftovers – I’d say it could serve three to four easily, especially with a side dish added. The spaetzle did not make enough for leftovers – because I ate it all immediately.