Things Are Out of Order: Valentine’s Cards

I know I said there would be Erasmus. I hear the Great Lamentations in the street when I say, “There shall be no Erasmus this week.” I offer my sympathy.

But Friday is Valentine’s Day! And posting a how-to on Valentine’s cards would be Fairly Useless next week. And I So Love Holidays.

So: today, Valentine’s Cards. Next week: Erasmus.

I have to admit, part of me is worried about the limited usefulness of a post on how to make cards. Essentially, this comes down to “Glue Things on Other Things.” But, people often comment on crafts in real life in the “I wish I could do x” vein – and they can! They just don’t know it yet. If you are one of those people, here’s what you need to do:

1. Gather your supplies. You need blank cards, really, to make the final product look nice – bulk packages are Very Cheap, and then you’ll have envelopes already there and cut to fit. You’ll also want a selection of coordinating solid color and patterned craft papers. Double-sided are particularly nice, both because they tend to be coordinated by default and because they immediately give you more options. This year, I also used washi tape, because Amazing. In the past, I have often used either sticky-backed ribbon or normal ribbon – I also have a little sticker making machine that was fairly cheap and is one of my favorite craft items. I, myself, don’t go in much for sheet stickers, generally – I have a hard time using them in a way that doesn’t feel tacky, even if only to me. This may be because my usual reaction to Glitz is “Keep Adding More.” If you are more Trustworthy and Restrained, stickers may be right up your alley.
   

   These were My Supplies. While I feel like the papers all coordinate to some degree, I did definitely have certain colors in mind for a “pink” set and certain others in mind for a “vintage” set. The selection as pictured here veers a bit towards the vintage, because the pink were double-sided. Also: Washi Tape.

2. Once you’ve got your materials together, you should spend some time thinking about some final products you want – whether Very Detailed or just “I want this color with that color.” You probably have a list of the people you’re making for – jot notes next to each to guide you along. I’m not including a picture of my list, because I’m already Sad that some people will be seeing their cards ahead of time; I’m certainly not going to tell them which card is theirs.
3. Most of the time, you’ll want to use a solid piece of craft paper for the background of the outside of the card. Whether the background covers the front and back or only the front is Entirely Up to You. I tend to do a bit of both, depending on the final product I have in mind. A Cricut is great for these; I can’t cut a straight line to save my life, so for me it’s actually pretty indispensable. Thoroughly glue the paper to the card, concentrating on getting the edges sealed down.
   

   The examples I’ll be using for most of my construction pictures are of my nieces’ cards, since they are Not Likely to be reading this. For all three of these cards, I just cut out a piece to fit the front part of the outside of the card.

4. Next, work on other background elements or trim. If you’re using washi tape, you might use some to seal the edges of parts of the card or to delineate particular spaces. You might also add another background piece – like a stripe or a rectangular “frame” – at this point. Having some sort of Extra Element, rather than just a background and then a heart or message, will usually make for a more finished looking card. For the best results, just cut any paper elements for now and coordinate them on the card as you’d like to see them. Don’t glue yet!
   

   You can see where I used the washi tape as a more decorative element on the card to the left. On the card to the right, the washi tape is just sealing the bottom edge. There will be a rectangular element on the glitter-y card, but it could not be photographed on the cards standing upright, because it hasn’t been glued to the card yet – pay attention!

5. Most cards need some kind of Anchoring Element on the front. Because these cards are for Valentine’s Day, it’s hard to go wrong with a basic heart shape. “Love” and “XO” lettered out also work nicely. In past years, I’ve sometimes used papers that had nice shapes just waiting to be cut out and made into that Main Element – love birds, cupids, etc. If you have a paper like that, remember to leave a slight edge all around your shape, which will look Much Nicer than if you try to cut right along the lines. Put these shapes together with your other elements. Push things around until the card is Just Right, then glue. Again, concentrate on edges. One advantage of a glue stick: you can set it upright and rub smaller shapes across the top of it, making sure you get their little spaces.
   

   Some really simple shapes sealed with washi tape were the base for the back left and front center cards; then just some hearts and lettering to anchor the designs.

6. Make sure to write A Little Something in each card! I am not a Great Writer in Cards; I hope that the work I put into the cards speaks a bit for me, instead. A simple “Happy Valentine’s Day” will do just fine. I am not showing pictures of this, either, for the same reasons as above.

See?! Easy Peasy! You can do that. And here are a few other designs for inspiration:

The entire front of this card is washi tape stripes. Just go slowly and you won’t have any trouble lining them up. The “love” element is cut out from decorative paper. I wrote it out in cursive in dark, soft pencil on a sheet of notebook paper, sketched that out into bubbly letters, then pressed that facedown on the back of the decorative paper and firmly traced back over the lettering. The pencil will transfer and show you where to cut.

Very Simple: Four layers of background in decreasing widths. Seal with washi tape along the bottom edge. Heart cut out. Love.

And finally, here are the twelve I did this year all together:

Give yourself some basic patterns and templates to work from and those coordinating papers, and you should be able to create several cards you like, in a Reasonable Amount of Time, without feeling like an Assembly Line.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Winter Dinner: Hash is the Greatest

I have So Many Pictures for today’s recipe. I’m pretty excited. Just so you’re prepared ahead of time: it’s gonna be graphic.

So, everyone everywhere is trapped in the Endless Winter, discovering that we’re all apparently Sweet Summer Children and that all other winters were only pretending. This, I think, calls for a nice, warm dinner that can likely be cobbled together from whatever is already in the house. Even better, this recipe pops in the oven for a bit at the end – meaning that you get to dart around a Nice, Warm Kitchen while the oven is preheating and soak up all the extra warm.  I should note, also, that I’m pretty certain this recipe could be easily modified to work on a wood-burning stove – just cover it up at the end and be patient while the eggs finish.

But that, I suppose, is Jumping Ahead. Back to square one, then: let me tell you what you need for this Hash:

• 1/2 lb. breakfast sausage, or Italian sausage, seasoned ground pork, or seasoned ground beef. You might bump this up to a whole pound if you’re aiming to serve more than two or three, or if the eaters are particularly carnivorous in inclination.
• olive oil, in the order of about 1/8 c (2 T).
• potatoes, about one per total serving – I started with three medium-sized potatoes.
• salt and pepper – If I don’t say otherwise, I always mean kosher salt, and I always mean fresh ground black pepper.
• carrots, along the same order, plus one for the pot – four for me in this recipe.
• onions, 1/2 – 1 whole, depending on your taste. I used red onion because I like the pop of color.
• garlic, as much as you like – five cloves, for me, in this recipe.
• dried thyme or rosemary – or both, if you like, about 3/4 – 1 tsp, total.
• Eggs, one per serving. I used duck eggs, because I had them and they’re so comforting.
• Sriracha and/or ketchup, if you’re me. Lots of other topping possibilities out there, I suppose. But really: Sriracha.

Ok, so you’ve got your things together. If you are cooking from an ice-in, and don’t have one thing or another, I suppose I should note that this is pretty flexible so long as you’ve got a cooking oil, potatoes, and some kind of seasoning. Mind, if you don’t have eggs, I’m not calling it a Hash. But it’ll be good cooked up and topping polenta or grits or pasta, anyway, so who cares what I call it?

And so, Your Procedure.

1. Preheat the oven to 350.
2. Get the sausage cooking in a medium saucepan over medium heat – just big enough that the meat has plenty of room. I used breakfast sausage and just let it crumble, because I was partly trying to use up some Odds and Ends. There’s no reason why you couldn’t use slices of Italian sausage, though, or cook up some ground pork or beef and season it to your tastes. This is one of the only steps I don’t have a picture for, because there are few things Less Appealing than raw ground meat.
3. While the meat is cooking, scrub the potatoes and slice them into 1/2 – 3/4 in. cubes. I suggest not peeling them; they feel Heartier that way. But if you hate peels, so be it.
4. Check the sausage – if it is done, drain it and set aside. If not, keep an eye on it throughout the following steps and pause to pull it whenever necessary.
5. Heat the olive oil in a Nice, Heavy, Oven-Safe Pan over medium-high heat. Once the oil is hot (I always use the Teensy Drop of Water Test, because I’m reckless like that), turn the heat down to about a notch below medium and add the potatoes, all at once.  Salt and pepper to taste, and then maybe pepper a bit more.
   

   Here are all of those potatoes, happily sizzling away in the olive oil. I used, as you can see, my cast iron Dutch oven, because (1) it is certainly happy to cooperate either on the stove-top or in the oven, and (2) I Just Like It.

6. While the potatoes are cooking, scrub the carrots (peel them If You Must) and cut them into about 1/2 inch pieces – usually this means rounds for the bottom half and half-moons for the top. Slice the onions into thin half moons – no more than 1/4 in. thick, and 1/8 is better. Mince the garlic or, if you’re feeling a bit lazy, just push it through a garlic press. (I am often feeling a Bit Lazy). This, by the by, is where you could most easily make substitutions, either to accommodate what you have in the house or to vary the recipe once you’re comfortable with it. My suggestions for Substitution Veggies would include celery, fennel (nom), beets, and parsnips, for starters. You could also use frozen veggies, in a pinch, but the Final Result will be…Mushier.
7. About the time you’re done with this prep, the potatoes should be looking golden-y, at which point you can dump all the new veggies in to the pan. Stir them all together so they’re all nicely coated with oil, and let them cook for about 15 min. The veggies to keep an eye on are the carrots (or parsnips or beets, if you’ve used them – and if you do, it’s not a bad idea to parboil them first). You want them to Yield, but not be Mushy.
   

   Look at the colors! I am enamored of these veggies. By the by, you’ll note that I’m using a wooden spoon in this picture. I actually Do Not Recommend this, since you’ll be adding meat momentarily – at which point, I was clever enough to switch over to a spatula, but Alas! I had already unnecessarily dirtied a spoon.

8. Once you’ve got a good consistency on whatever your Stubbornest Vegetable is, add your cooked meat and your herbs. I’ll usually stick with dried herbs in winter and fresh in summer, but I try to note which I mean. This time, I used dried thyme and rosemary, in about equal portions.
   

   Here are almost all of the ingredients, getting to know each other, as well as that plastic spatula.

9. Stir everything together, turn the heat to low, and let everything mingle for about 5-10 min, depending on how hungry you are.
10. Crack the eggs on top of your hash, and move the Whole Operation to the oven. If you’re planning on leftovers, I suggest saving those eggs until the day of; it shouldn’t take much longer, and you’ll be happier with the final result. Warmed over eggs are Not Pleasant, in my opinion.
    

    Thus, my pan was home to only one egg for this round of the cooking. If you’re using more, just try not to crowd them too much – the top shouldn’t turn into One Big Sheet of Egg (which sounds Monstrously Unappetizing, to me). If you’re trying to make this for too big of a crowd, go ahead and take the dishes hit and move half the veggies into another oven-safe casserole, rather than crowd this dish.

11. Let the hash and eggs cook until the egg white is nice and solid – start checking at 5 minutes if you like your eggs runny, as I do, but don’t rush them. If you like your eggs completely done, you can probably safely walk away for at least 10 minutes. Now, incidentally, is an excellent time to wash your cutting board, knives, spatula, and the pan in which you cooked the meat. Wash-up: Done! Heat from the Oven: Absorbed!
    

    Yes.

12. Serve up the hash with an egg per serving, at least. I topped mine with pretty liberal lashings of sriracha, because of course I did. I had some for breakfast one morning with a spot of ketchup, and that wasn’t half bad, either.
    

    Dinner. Perfect.

If you’re worried about this meal not being substantial enough, it also makes a great topping for polenta, or grits, which adds a nice grain element, too. With polenta underneath and a veggie soup or hearty salad alongside, this meal could easily morph into a simple supper for a Pretty Large Gathering, with Relatively Little Fuss. Of course, it would also make a Savory Breakfast.

Or, if you’re more the solo-type, you could do as I did: make enough for several meals, and eat it a different way each time to avoid Leftover Doldrums.